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Okay, so now that I've calmed down from the wave of bad feeling, I find myself having to deal with the fact that I've posted rants in various places. And I'm lucky that people haven't responded angrily at me thus far, even though it's entirely possible that I deserve it, because I did essentially vaguepost an anti-ship rant. And I have to deal with the fact that even though I am entirely pro people-can-ship-what-they-want, and people-aren't-morally-worse-for-shipping-something, I have to deal with the fact that I have publicly written about how I am annoyed by people shipping a thing.
To be fair: It is not the shipping that bothers me so much as it is the anti-ship content that so constantly comes along with the love for this ship. It is the fact that the anti-content sinks so deeply into my blood and feels like it's poisoning me such that I need to say something about it, even if that's detrimental to my public presence.
I posted on Tumblr a few months ago about how we sometimes feel the need to anti things. How sometimes I have to complain about a thing, even though I don't want to offend or hurt the people who like it, simply because otherwise I can't function, because otherwise it sits inside me like a parasite that will eat my okayness and my good mood and my general ability to be a person. But I don't know how to do that without putting something out there that will be misunderstood, that will hurt others, that will make me appear unreasonable. I don't want to be too concerned with how I appear to others, but I also don't want to put them off simply because I was having a Moment.
I try to keep the complaining out of the tags to certain things; I try to be up-front about my feelings and my reasoning for doing it; I try to explain that it's individual things that bother me and not people themselves. But inevitably I am unable to be fully rational when I have poison flooding through my veins, when my main purpose is simply to get it out. So how do I deal with these things? How do I reconcile these coexisting needs? And how do I deal with things in a way that allows me to be okay, while also not infringing on other people's comfort and affecting them in the same way that's affected me?
I don't have a good answer. I just... again, I just needed to say it.
To be fair: It is not the shipping that bothers me so much as it is the anti-ship content that so constantly comes along with the love for this ship. It is the fact that the anti-content sinks so deeply into my blood and feels like it's poisoning me such that I need to say something about it, even if that's detrimental to my public presence.
I posted on Tumblr a few months ago about how we sometimes feel the need to anti things. How sometimes I have to complain about a thing, even though I don't want to offend or hurt the people who like it, simply because otherwise I can't function, because otherwise it sits inside me like a parasite that will eat my okayness and my good mood and my general ability to be a person. But I don't know how to do that without putting something out there that will be misunderstood, that will hurt others, that will make me appear unreasonable. I don't want to be too concerned with how I appear to others, but I also don't want to put them off simply because I was having a Moment.
I try to keep the complaining out of the tags to certain things; I try to be up-front about my feelings and my reasoning for doing it; I try to explain that it's individual things that bother me and not people themselves. But inevitably I am unable to be fully rational when I have poison flooding through my veins, when my main purpose is simply to get it out. So how do I deal with these things? How do I reconcile these coexisting needs? And how do I deal with things in a way that allows me to be okay, while also not infringing on other people's comfort and affecting them in the same way that's affected me?
I don't have a good answer. I just... again, I just needed to say it.
