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Jan. 9th, 2022 03:03 pm
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Ever since I first realized the Legolas/Gimli parallels in the Song of Nimrodel - the song Legolas sings outside Lothlórien - I’ve been absolutely obsessed with it, and since this story probably won’t be finished for like a year if ever (too many projects, too many life needs, too much) I decided I needed to share an excerpt so you can at least have Feelings with me.

(also posted to tumblr)

excerpt )

I also highly recommend this arrangement of the song by Yolanda Mott, an actual human siren who has done several gorgeous renditions of Tolkien songs.
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This Drowning Ground

“The sink-swell/of this drowning ground,/a reckoning.” – “Tremble” by Lindsay Lusby

Laerwen comes to visit Legolas in Ithilien, to see the land he loves and the work he has done. She has not traveled so far south in an age, and quickly learns that – despite all that has passed between them – her own memories of Mordor still lurk close to the surface, waiting to overwhelm her and bear her down into the marshes of her own mind.

Fortunately, her brother is there to act as a lifeline.
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So there's a headcanon I've had for awhile - or more like one of those niggling questions about elf biology that becomes a headcanon.

talk of menstruation below the cut )
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It's absolutely miserably hot here, set to be in the 100s (Fahrenheit) for the next few days starting with today. Which I realize is not that much for some people and places, but it's absolutely not supposed to happen where I live, so no one is ready for it, and advice has been flying around for how to manage it. Well, here is what I have managed today.

-Made a frozen yogurt pie yesterday evening. Have already eaten probably about 2/3 of it. Have graduated from slicing pieces to just taking the whole thing out of the freezer and digging in with a fork.
-Left my apartment three times. Twice to do laundry this morning (it was already in the 80s at 9 am, which is unacceptable), after which I determined that I would not be leaving it again until it had cooled down significantly. A third time this evening around sunset (at 9:30 PM) when it was finally a little cooler outside than inside, to read my book at the park.
-In that vein, finished my reread of Fellowship of the Ring. Did way too much liveblog/spamming on Tumblr. Hashtag no regrets.
-While rereading Fellowship, worked some more on my ongoing Legolas/Gimli essay. It's over 6,000 words and I've barely gotten to Two Towers. It might not be quite as much for each book as the first one was, though. Also, I'm not quite sure what my point is yet. But I'm making Many Observations. Also they are in love.
-Made significant use of the fridge and freezer, specifically ziploc bags full of water that I froze and have been using as rotating ice packs all day.
-Sweated. A lot.
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“It all depends on what you want,” put in Merry. “You can trust us to stick to you through thick and thin - to the bitter end. And you can trust us to keep any secret of yours - closer than you keep it yourself. But you cannot trust us to let you face trouble alone, and go off without a word. We are your friends, Frodo. Anyway, there it is. We know most of what Gandalf has told you. We know a good deal about the Ring. We are horribly afraid - but we are coming with you or following you like hounds.”

I can ramble for so long on how Merry is low-key the best character in the story for all of us who aren’t heroes, who aren’t meant for greater things or in any way touched by “greater” powers as Tolkien might define them. Frodo and Sam and what they undertake is exceptional; Aragorn has spent all his life preparing to be king of Gondor and do what he must - but the way I described Merry once in a fic was that he “knew [what he was getting into] and had gone anyway.” I think of Merry when I think of my own inclination to commit to something before I know how much it will hurt, in a way I can’t back away from, because I can’t bear to live with myself if I chose not to do it. Merry doesn’t know how much this journey will hurt; how much it will break his heart or change him forever. He hasn’t grown up the way the non-hobbit characters have, living in a world at war. He hasn’t been prepared for this as Frodo has in some ways - learning about how other people think and speak, for instance, with his ability to speak with the high elves they meet - but he’s not impulsive like Pippin: he walked into this knowing how much it had the potential to hurt him.

There’s so much that the other characters have that he lacks: Sam, of course, is a three-books-long tale in pure grit and love and determination; Frodo seems touched by some spirit sometimes; Pippin has flashes of intuition that make him better able to respond, at times, in crises. Merry is the most practical of the four of them, in so many ways; he wasn’t made for this kind of adventure, but he goes anyway, because he can’t live with himself if he doesn’t. And it’s how he will end up carrying out his bravest deeds. He’s the character we can all identify with, amidst all these exceptional people, and that makes me love him more. I have a lot of complaints about the movie’s portrayal of him, but that speech they gave him - I just want to help my friends - is so much the core of who he is, and I love him so much.
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I haven't done a fic update on here in a long time, so I thought I'd mention that I've compiled a series of my fics inspired by the LOTR behind-the-scenes cast interviews here on AO3. Basically, I've taken situations that happened to the actors (usually Legolas and Gimli-focused) and written them happening to the characters.

I thought the series was done with one for each installment, but then DeHeerKonijn sent me the sweetest picture of Orlando Bloom holding Brett Beattie's hand while he got his Fellowship tattoo (pic linked in this article, which I highly recommend) and I couldn't resist it. It's not ready to upload to AO3 yet, so I'm sharing the text below the cut.

Also, as a treat for me, Gimli can for once in fic not have a superhuman pain tolerance. ;)

Read more... )

A fic

Mar. 24th, 2021 07:24 pm
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Inspired by behind-the-scenes LOTR (specifically that one clip where Orlando Bloom gives his horse a little kiss on the nose) and my need for more Gimli hurt/comfort. Maybe one day I will clean it up, but I don't have the patience tonight, so this is what you get.

Legolas and Gimli, gen but with hints of more in the future, Paths of the Dead, light angst.

...

Stabling a horse should not take so long.

Gimli shifted from one foot to the other in the doorway of the small inn room he would be sharing with Legolas, fighting the urge to glance behind him as though to ensure that the room was truly empty. After days of long hard travel, he still felt the chill of the Dead at his back, the stir of displaced air from the shapeless ripple of their presence. They were gone now, or had seemed to disperse – but how could something without form be trusted to truly vanish?

He shivered, rubbing at his arms, the chill swarming like ants over the skin of his back. He must trust their absence, must he not? After all, their presence had been real enough.

Aye, real indeed – he shuddered again at the memory of that shapeless mass exploding at last into form behind him, beside him, spears and swords flashing into being in the gleam of sunlight, fighting with the ferocity of ten men each – but it was not the fighting that stayed with him. The source of that fear was not their blades, but something deeper – something that clawed at his gut in that primal birthplace of screams: the horror of something that was and was not: something without stable form, that left impression without taking space –

Even in his thoughts, he could not put words to it, and that elusiveness of description only added to the distrust.

Around him, Aragorn’s Ranger companions made their way down the halls, returned from stabling their horses to find their own rooms. They were finished, it seemed, worn from fighting and the long ride preceding it and ready to snatch the first night of rest any of them had had in days at this small inn in Pelargir – and yet still Legolas did not return.

I will just see our friend settled, he had said to Gimli, with a hand on Arod’s nose. Go find us a room, will you not? I will join you soon.

Soon, he had said, and yet the last of the Dunedain trickled in and still there was no sign of him, and Gimli found he could not bear to settle in alone.

How long had it been since he had been alone? Months since Rivendell and the privacy of his own room there, certainly. There had been Lothlórien, of course, but that had only been perhaps a fortnight ago, for all that it felt like so much less – and even then, he had rarely been alone, for Legolas had always accompanied him.

The question was not, perhaps, how long it had been since he had last been alone – but how long since he had not had Legolas at his back, at his side. A few short weeks only since Lothlórien, and already he felt as though he had known the elf all his life. His steady presence, his soothing words – they were the only thing that had kept Gimli with the Company through that long, hard, freezing ride with the Dead at his back –

Gimli closed the door behind him, tucking the key away in his breast pocket, and set off for the stables.

Ah, but his muscles ached with every step – the twinge in his hips and chafing burn between his thighs from days on horseback, a position he had never intended to know so intimately; the stretched-out ache between his shoulder blades from swing after swing of his axe. He had not felt these aches in days, too busy accumulating new ones by curling up so tightly in his bedroll at night that he could not feel the chill of the Dead, by clinging to Legolas’s waist during the day, his face buried against the elf’s back. But they were present now, making themselves known on their first – and only – night of real rest before they must make their way forth again tomorrow, sailing to Gondor.

At least these boats would be larger than the tiny leaflike canoes they had paddled down the Anduin. And at least he might have a rest from the horse’s back.

A few words from the innkeeper set him on the path to the stables, though he could have found his own way from smell alone. He had grown accustomed to the scent of horse in the last few days, but the scent was intensified in the stables, with all the horses gathered together: hay and dust and dung and sweat. Most of the beasts seemed sleepy as well, he noticed as he passed, and it was no wonder – for all that he felt the ride of the last few days, he had at least not been the beast of burden!

Legolas had settled Arod in a stall at the far end of the stable. The horse seemed well groomed, at least to Gimli’s untrained eye, but Legolas stood still beside him, passing a brush over his back in slow, almost dreamlike circles.

Gimli stood still for a moment, watching the almost hypnotic motion of the brush. It was strangely peaceful; he could be almost lulled to sleep – and for a moment he wondered if Legolas was asleep, in that strange way of elves. But no – after a moment, Legolas sighed deeply and turned to face him, his face drawn as Gimli had rarely seen it, eyes and mouth folded in tired lines.

For a moment, there was no sound but the quiet shuffling and snorting of horses, and Gimli forgot why he had come to seek Legolas as the silence stretched between them. But at last he found his voice again and took a few steps forward. “Not settled yet, hm?”

“Not - ? Oh.” Legolas looked at the brush in his hand and then gestured with it in a half-shrug that sagged as quickly as his attempt of a smile. “I was merely . . .” He trailed off.

Gimli waited for him to finish, but Legolas only gazed at him – no, through him, his eyes vacant as sleep again. As though he had forgotten he was speaking.

Gimli cleared his throat, and Legolas started as if out of a dream, his eyes focusing again, but did not speak – so Gimli took it upon himself. “You said you meant to settle our friend,” he said. “He seems well settled, unless I miss my guess.”

“Yes,” murmured Legolas. “He is . . . I was only – thinking.”

“Thinking?” Gimli prodded. For the first time in days, some emotion other than his own misery was returning to him – concern for whatever this strange mood might mean. “Will you share your thoughts with a friend?”

Legolas let the hand holding the brush fall to his side and took a few steps, but stopped at Arod’s head and began to stroke his nose instead. “Perhaps . . .” he said. Arod whuffed and nuzzled his head into Legolas’s hand, and Legolas gave the smallest of smiles and murmured something in elvish.

Gimli hid his fond smile behind a snort. “I meant myself, not the horse, Master Legolas,” he said. “Come, now, what troubles you? There is a hard road ahead, but the Dead have left us, at least.”

“The Dead do not trouble me,” Legolas said vaguely, and then as though he had heard his own words, his head snapped up. “Oh! But” – And then he was turning to face Gimli in full at last, his eyes clear as though he finally saw him. “Yes, they have left us. And how do you fare now, Gimli?”

Gimli’s cheeks heated under the warmth of his regard. He had not meant – but then, at least Legolas seemed present in the moment at last. “I am well enough,” he mumbled. “But if it is not the Dead, it seems something is amiss with you. Will you not come back to our room and unburden yourself to me?”

Legolas let out a long, sad sigh. “I think not,” he said, “not yet. It is still too near, and I do not know what it means – but yes, I will come back with you. Thank you for coming to fetch me; I do not know how long I would have stayed here.”

“Too long, doubtless,” said Gimli. “Our friend deserves his rest as well as we do; he has run hard these last days and endured more than any horse of Rohan ever ought.” For Arod too had loathed the ride with the Dead. Gimli approached him cautiously – he did not feel as at ease with the horse as Legolas did, but he thought they had reached an understanding in the last two days. And sure enough, Arod whuffed gently, a gust of warm air over Gimli’s outstretched palm, and let Gimli pat him cautiously on the nose as well.

“He does, and he has,” Legolas said softly. He took in a deep breath and let it out in a long sigh, his shoulders slumping. “Very well; you are right. I will leave him in peace and come with you. Good night, my friend,” he said to Arod, and leaned in to press his lips to the horse’s long flat nose.

The sight made something in Gimli go soft and loose, but he forced himself to hide it behind a laugh. “Such a farewell!” he made himself say. “You will see him in the morning!”

Legolas shrugged and laughed a little. “He deserves it,” he said, and then he was eyeing Gimli speculatively.

The gleam in his eye made something in Gimli’s belly clench, but before he could speak, Legolas was coming toward him, stopping only to drop the brush into a bucket of grooming tools, and taking his face between both hands. Gimli had no time to react before Legolas had leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead as well, directly between his brows.

His lips were there and away in a moment, but Gimli swore he could still feel them tingling, a print against his face. “What was that for?” he managed to splutter, pretending amusement even as his bones threatened to melt and leave him a puddle on the straw floor.

Legolas looked at him for a moment longer, some strange combination of melancholy and tenderness in his eyes, and then shook his head. “Everything,” he said simply, and slung an arm around Gimli’s shoulders, turning them both towards the entrance to the stable and letting it rest there as they made their way together back towards the room.

Only moments before, he had wondered if the chill of the Dead would ever be banished – but now, Gimli thought he had never felt so warm.
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A weird side effect of Tolkien fandom is the occasional inclination to use the word "lovemaking" unironically.
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Last weekend, a friend and I watched Two Towers and the accompanying extra interviews, many of which I hadn’t seen. I was so taken by the bit where all Three Hunters actors were injured during the scenes they were trying to run across Rohan that I had to write a fic about it. I had vague thoughts about trying to make it a coherent story with other little bits of the plot, but the vignette ran itself out and then refused to go any further. Maybe one day I’ll add more or clean it up for an archive, but everything is Too Much right now, so I'm posting it informally on fan social media instead of an archive.

Read more... )
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Is there a middle ground between the book and movie selections of the Fellowship of the Ring when you think both are really stupid?

In the movie, everyone just randomly volunteers, is not vetted at all, for no particular reason, and the Fellowship is decided with no plan in about thirty seconds.

In the book, Elrond selects all of Frodo’s companions himself and doesn’t tell him who they are until like two days before they leave, thus implying that Legolas and Gimli also had to stay in Rivendell for the two months before the Fellowship left. Was Elrond negotiating with them privately? Were THEY aware of their selection before this happened? Did Frodo get any say in this at all? “Here, Frodo, here are your companions.” It’s a smarter way of picking them than just saying yes to anyone who volunteers without a second thought, but it’s super weird logistically. (Unless they were all stuck in Rivendell while the scouts went out?)

Anyway, both versions are extremely weird, is my point here. Was there really no better way of doing this?
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Over the weekend, a fandom friend and I watched ALL THREE components of the terrible travesty that is the Hobbit movies. I knew I was going to hate them, but I did not know exactly how and in what ways I would hate them. The process took fifteen hours, including pauses for ranting but not including pauses for copious consumption of food, and I have come out the other side... different. I'm a changed woman.

If you would like to observe the documentation, the journey is on my Tumblr here.

A fic

Aug. 24th, 2020 09:32 pm
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I've been revisiting the LOTR books lately, and getting to the Paths of the Dead scene reminded me that I have not used Gimli's canon trauma to its full potential.

So...a little mostly-hurt nightmare fic. Some Legolas/Gimli because I can't help myself, but unfortunately Legolas is not actually there. :(

The Dead are following.

He can feel them, the icy grasping presence that steals the warmth from the air and from his soul – the feel rather than the sound of a host in pursuit, like thousands of booted feet stamping the air just above the ground; murmurs like hissing whispers swirling up from their midst to twine with the air – a cloud rather than an army that can be counted, pressing against his back, and then further forward still –

The Dead are following.

He knows they press still on, overtaking him, but he dares not look back; he cannot even stand – he is pressed to the ground with the choking terror of it, clawing himself forward one hand at a time, not even his shame strong enough to force him to his feet again –

The Dead are following.

Aye, following closer and closer behind every moment; the ice begins in the tips of his toes, travels up his ankles until his feet are frozen to the ground – climbs higher up his calves, his thighs, until he can move his legs no longer; he is submerged to his waist in the icy terror of it and still it is swirling in him, in his belly, his chest – it will seize him here, now; it will stop his heart and his lungs and he will never breathe again; he will never be free of this cavern; he will be pressed to the stone and he will join these shades; he has never feared death like this before but now it is near him, upon him, all around him, inside him –

Read more... )

bragging

Aug. 22nd, 2020 08:49 pm
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Not to be a narcissist, but sometimes I have to wallow in my own cleverness, and I'm so proud of these lines I wrote.

“I have finished meeting with Éomer and Imrahil and Gandalf,” Aragorn said, after a moment of quiet. “We have made plans for the days to come, and I would speak to you of them.”

“Speak, then,” said Legolas. “But it matters not what you say. You know already that I am beside you, even if you decided to storm the Black Gate itself.”

“Ah.” Aragorn seemed a bit taken aback. “Well, that is… particularly good to hear."


(it's because Aragorn's going to tell him that the plan is to storm the Black Gate)

(The lines are from this fic if you happen to be interested, but be warned that it's a longish Hurt No Comfort fic about rejection and despair, so...yanno.)
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Someone in my apartment complex has named their Wi-Fi "Khazad Dum" and it delights me.
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Catch and Release

An afternoon of fishing - and being subsequently baited by some haughty elves from Lothlórien - leads Legolas to discover an unorthodox new weapon.

...

A fun day's diversion in the form of crack, which has been up on Tumblr for some time, has finally been archived on AO3. No fish were harmed in the writing/drawing of this fic.
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I Feel the Earth Move (Under My Feet)

Summary: Frai has never trusted elves or men – and she has never doubted that distrust before. But after a family friend sought to commit treason – and betrayed her trust to do so – she finds all her convictions overturned. Reeling in the aftermath, she wanders out in search of solitude and finds someone else instead.

At first, she does not know what to think of her new friendship with Eadwulf, a young man from Rohan stationed in the Hornburg. Despite all her ingrained distrust, she finds herself opening up to him more and more as their friendship deepens. But when a threat arises from neighboring Dunland, leaving Frai in a locked-down Aglarond and Eadwulf on the front lines in the Hornburg, she realizes that her feelings run much deeper than she ever imagined.

Some more absurdly specific OC fic from me!
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Preface to the below: a ramble about shipping turned into a bit of a rant, and I'm still not entirely sure what the point of any of it was. Half-baked thoughts about shipping, m/m pairings, and Legolas/Gimli below the cut.

Read more... )
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Posting this just so I can finally compile my bingo list!

This snippet sort of takes place in medias res of a longer story for which I have nothing written, no real plans, and not even a solid concept, but I really liked the idea and wanted to write a short fic. More Legolas and Eleniel, and I have this wild random notion that sometime well into Ithilien’s establishment they go off on a semi-undercover mission to somewhere in the North, maybe Rhun or something… maybe to check out the territory and get a sense of the attitudes in the area so that Aragorn can try extending diplomacy? (And now I feel like this kind of sounds like Aragorn is planning on colonizing, which I will NOT be writing.) It’s for friendly purposes only! Do I have any idea why or how? No. Do I have any idea how the language or general worldbuilding works? No. Did I come up with this thought solely so that I could write the following story?

…Well…

Read more... )
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Ever Changing, Ever Climbing

“Love among elves is not a craft,” she said, “not something to be created and finished and left on a shelf or put to use. Our love is a vine that grows along with us: ever changing, ever climbing. Our hearts seek out those whose lives will twine with our own, who will weather the storms when they come and blossom come springtime – who will change with us into whatever shapes our lives end up taking.”

In all the years that an elf might live, she might experience triumphs and sorrows uncountable by mortal thoughts and still have more to learn, more to become. Laerwen Thranduiliel has spent all her childhood being shaped into a perfect princess, but she will learn that there is much more to the role - and to life - than she ever knew to expect. Siril, on the other hand, has never been ambitious, but when she at last heeds the urgings of her heart, she finds herself swept unexpectedly into the royal family of the Greenwood - and proves to be exactly what it needs.

The life and love story of the Princess of the Greenwood, from the late Second Age to beyond the Fourth, as she and her wife journey through love and war, darkness and loss and unexpected joy, and learn who they are - together or apart.

...in case anyone wants to read the monster, I have finally stopped my dallying and posted chapter 1!
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I'm having more Feelings about my own OCs-- different situation this time-- and arrivals in Valinor. I apologize for inflicting them on you.

If you are interested in a tiny snippet of Legolas and Gimli welcoming Eleniel to Valinor, read on. Warning for platonic mouth-kisses between BFFs.

Read more... )

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