Still out of order, a week later, and I have been handwashing my underwear for days.

For the last several days, the lights on the washer have been dark (the place where you can hit a button to start a load, the digital face that indicates how much money you still need to put in, because of course it's coin-op). Yesterday, those lights were back on. The "out of order" sign was still on the machine, though the words "will be exchanged" had been added to it. I texted my landlord to ask if he knew what was going on (again, reminder, this is the one machine for our entire building) and he said that the service people had marked that the order was complete but also indicated that they would replace it. He wasn't clear on if it had been temporarily fixed or not.

More fool I, I decided to try.

It hadn't been. Which then meant I had to haul a load of sopping wet laundry back upstairs to my apartment, dump it in the bathtub, and do my best with water and detergent and my hands to clean it before hauling it back down to put into the dryer. I let it run, and then the second I opened the dryer and got hit by a whiff of air from inside, I knew none of it had worked - handwashing wasn't effective enough, and it having sat in its own wetness for several minutes before I tried had left an indelible Scent on all of it. It was still damp in the dryer, but I decided it wasn't worth running it another time, since it wouldn't be clean even if it did get dry.

So I hauled the lot of it back upstairs, separated out enough underwear to get me through the next couple of days, and washed those on my own in the sink. Again. Meanwhile, I guess the rest of it will just wait.

And the worst of all of it is that the laundry people got paid for this - because I paid for a load each of washing and drying that didn't work.

My landlord is frustrated with the service people, and I am too - but he's not off the hook for this, either. This would not be a problem if there were more than one machine for the entire building.

I'll be going to my mom's next week, so I guess I'll just bring my laundry then. Even if it does get fixed in the next few days, at this point, it's not even worth it to try.

Well. It's...lessening. Sort of.

I mean, the temperatures are lower, so that's good. But I'm back at my place now, and the air is so stagnant and heavy here and this place just sponges up heat; there's only so much fans can do and escaping whenever it's hot just isn't feasible - especially since there's no way this is going to get any better. Even if that was the worst of it for this summer, global warming ain't slowing down.

Which I hate, because I think the only solution that is sustainable to me physically continuing to exist is buying an air conditioner. (Along with probably half the state.) And I don't know what kind to pick, and the whole thing is so stressful and I only have so much brain capacity to think about what to do and how to do it.

( cw: food )

Oof.

I actually have not been home much today - I left earlyish to spend some time with my D&D group at a house that was pretty cool. Not air-conditioned, but a significant temperature drop in the basement that was very very pleasant, and we sheltered down there for hours.

Which was a good thing, because my apartment has soaked in all the heat from yesterday and it's heavy and humid and sticky in the air. The fan doesn't help much - now it's just like blowing a hair dryer, warm air moving. Sleeping was almost impossible last night; I ended up tossing and turning, waking up and not being entirely clear if I'd gone back to sleep or not. I thought I was awake for good at 6 AM, so miserable was it, but I ended up tossing for another several hours and got the best hours of sleep all night from 8 to 10 (and had one of those fun dreams that you can return to after waking up).

Then I escaped for most of the day and returned to - well. The air was HEAVY. I'm prepping to flee to a friend's house for the next couple of days; she says her downstairs stays decently cool. As long as it's better than here, I'm content. I really hope she doesn't get here and say it's better here than at her place, because I don't know what I'll do then.

Oh, and I'm living in terror of the wildfires.

Love this time of year...

Apropos of absolutely nothing in particular definitely, you wanna know who I think the worst kind of people are? The kind of people who are pretentiously incomprehensible, who name-drop obscure theorists as though they're movie stars, who use hyperspecific jargon not because they're assuming you know what it means but because they know you don't. They say things that don't make any sense but sound smart because they know you'll either have to ask what they mean or pretend you know when you don't, to avoid their smug explanations (which usually name-drop a few other obscure people in the process and only make it worse). The point of speaking isn't to share knowledge, it's to show off their own. It's the worst kind of posturing, and although I try to squelch it in myself, I know I have the tendency, too . . .

. . . but that doesn't mean I like it any better when it's done to me.

I just wanna turn off all lights but my mini fake Christmas tree and lie on the floor under a blanket for several days... but instead I am being good and turning on the light and getting all set up for work. :P

I swear, has my writing gotten worse over the years instead of better?

me: *rereads an early piece of LOTR fic I wrote*
me: Boy, wish I could write like this.

(everything I try to write is so boring these days help me why)

These accursed timelines are going to kill me one of these days.

Sorry to get personal, but I need to rant somewhere and I don't want to post it on a place where people who know me in RL will see it.

I just don't know what to do with this coworker (the "noise-sensitive" one I ranted about back in June). I've been anxious for weeks every day I come into work for fear that I will arouse her ire again; I walk a vastly circuitous route around her desk, and still every time she heavy-sighs at her desk I worry that it's me, and I've done something.

Today I committed the unpardonable sin of walking behind her desk. In my defense, she was not AT her desk when this happened; she was microwaving her lunch. The route I would have taken would have been about three times longer than the one behind her desk, it would have been an obvious detour, and it would have brought me closer to her in physical proximity. I thought walking behind the desk would be fine.

Oh, also in my defense, another coworker has done it a couple of times in the last week, and HE doesn't get muttered at. While she's sitting there, even! Because that route makes more sense to get between his desk and mine, and that is the route I needed to take!

Alas, I miscalculated, and committed a grievous offense worthy of an extra-loud grumble. And I just don't know how to react when she does this, because I honestly can't tell if she wants me to hear-- or if she imagines that she's just alone in her own head when she mutters about how angry I make her? And I don't know how to bring it up in a way that's not confrontational - and I'm sick of groveling. I've groveled enough. I'm sorry that my work makes noise. Guess what - everyone makes noise. We work in an open office space together, and we coexist. I'm sorry that you don't like people walking behind your desk. I sit with my back to the door, for goodness sake! And do I mutter loudly at every person who comes into the office? No! I deal with it, just like you should be doing.

Anyway, I'm sorry for all this. I just don't know what to do with myself, but it's making it harder and harder to do my work. I think I might have to bring it up with my supervisor at some point-- but I'm so afraid she'll say my coworker is right about everything and I'm just being inconsiderate.

1) People who ask irrelevant questions solely to show off their own knowledge:
a. rambling for five minutes about something unrelated to the topic at hand and then either
i. trailing off into expectant silence and waiting for the presenter to figure out the question, or
ii. realizing they're not really asking a question and ending their self-important ramble with, "Can you speak to that?"
b. using a great deal of jargon (which the speaker did not introduce) that assumes a lot of specialized knowledge on the part of the presenter and the audience in order to ask a question only obliquely related to the purpose of the actual talk

2) "My question has two parts..."

3) Explaining the presenter's own subject to them.

Feel free to add your own!

I tell you, there is nothing quite like watching the bus you’re supposed to be on pull out of the station as the one you’re on inches slowly in.