![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
roselightfairy You know, there's times when I want adventure in my life, and I think despairingly that I'm not doing enough, I never will have done enough, I have no life, I spend all my time locked in my own head and not in the world, etc. etc. etc...
But also, if I had chosen to do something with my life other than exactly what I've done, I wouldn't have spent twenty minutes last night dashing through the wet dark of Seattle, rain soaking through my poorly-chosen cold-weather coat, with my phone getting stuck on zoom mode and unable to recognize my fingerprint because of the layer of water between me and the screen. And if I hadn't done that, I wouldn't have stumbled sodden and laughing into the warm home of a friend I met through letting the life inside my head spill into my physical reality as well. Wouldn't have changed into pajamas at 5:30 and spent the rest of the evening cooking and ranting and laughing and talking about things that cross all the lines between fantasy and reality and back again. Wouldn't be spending a cozy evening virtually with another friend I can't meet in real life yet, but who introduced me to the delight of that reality, to the blurring of the lines, to finding connection and creativity and chemistry where I wouldn't have thought to seek it before. And wouldn't simultaneously be preparing to embark on a new adventure in my real life that will hopefully bring me closer to discovering the things I want to do and the person I want to be.
And sometimes the world feels big and hard and scary... but sometimes I feel like it's all going to be okay.
But also, if I had chosen to do something with my life other than exactly what I've done, I wouldn't have spent twenty minutes last night dashing through the wet dark of Seattle, rain soaking through my poorly-chosen cold-weather coat, with my phone getting stuck on zoom mode and unable to recognize my fingerprint because of the layer of water between me and the screen. And if I hadn't done that, I wouldn't have stumbled sodden and laughing into the warm home of a friend I met through letting the life inside my head spill into my physical reality as well. Wouldn't have changed into pajamas at 5:30 and spent the rest of the evening cooking and ranting and laughing and talking about things that cross all the lines between fantasy and reality and back again. Wouldn't be spending a cozy evening virtually with another friend I can't meet in real life yet, but who introduced me to the delight of that reality, to the blurring of the lines, to finding connection and creativity and chemistry where I wouldn't have thought to seek it before. And wouldn't simultaneously be preparing to embark on a new adventure in my real life that will hopefully bring me closer to discovering the things I want to do and the person I want to be.
And sometimes the world feels big and hard and scary... but sometimes I feel like it's all going to be okay.
