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Gratitude Journal: Ides of March, 2020
Mar. 15th, 2020 08:08 pm(The dramatic title isn't anything beyond a date, I just felt like I couldn't let the date pass without SOME sort of acknowledgment, even if this post will have very little to do with it.)
As evidenced by my recent "doomsday journals," the current coronavirus situation - especially where I live - is taking a significant toll on my psyche as well as my way of life. I feel guilty complaining about that, when there are others that have it so much worse, but in a time when the present is dire and all possible futures uncertain, I'm finding it harder and harder to function under the weight of stress and fear.
I'm working remotely, and I think that's the right choice. At this point, I'm doing all I or anyone without medical training can do - keep myself away from other people, don't be a strain on the medical system, do as much as I can to not be a burden on anyone else. It's almost ironic that in a time of medical crisis, the best way to help is to take care of myself.
And I think that "taking care of myself" has to mean spiritually as well as physically. Since I can't contribute much materially, the majority of my contributions are mental and emotional: the work I can do remotely, spreading accurate information, trying to lift others' spirits. Writing fic for other people to read when they're stuck at home in isolation . . . or to entice them to stay there. And the thing is, I can't do any of that when I'm ready to collapse myself, when I'm too fearful to think rationally, too despairing to believe any good will be done, too stressed to collect my thoughts or focus my creativity.
So as part of my tiny contribution to all this, my attempt to improve my mental state in the name of public health, I'm going to try to list a few things I'm grateful for every day. I've never ever stuck to a daily-journaling prompt, but I'm really going to try with this one, because I think I need it. And maybe if you're reading it, you need it too.
So, gratitude for the ides of March...
1) I went sledding with some friends today. It felt wonderful to be outside in the fresh air, shrieking and laughing as we whizzed down the hills and then clawed our agonizing, labored way back up. (I had seen them prior to my isolation period; if we were contaminated, it had already happened, I promise.)
2) ABBA music, and singing and dancing along with abandon
3) Good friends, online and in-person, who help make things more bearable.
As evidenced by my recent "doomsday journals," the current coronavirus situation - especially where I live - is taking a significant toll on my psyche as well as my way of life. I feel guilty complaining about that, when there are others that have it so much worse, but in a time when the present is dire and all possible futures uncertain, I'm finding it harder and harder to function under the weight of stress and fear.
I'm working remotely, and I think that's the right choice. At this point, I'm doing all I or anyone without medical training can do - keep myself away from other people, don't be a strain on the medical system, do as much as I can to not be a burden on anyone else. It's almost ironic that in a time of medical crisis, the best way to help is to take care of myself.
And I think that "taking care of myself" has to mean spiritually as well as physically. Since I can't contribute much materially, the majority of my contributions are mental and emotional: the work I can do remotely, spreading accurate information, trying to lift others' spirits. Writing fic for other people to read when they're stuck at home in isolation . . . or to entice them to stay there. And the thing is, I can't do any of that when I'm ready to collapse myself, when I'm too fearful to think rationally, too despairing to believe any good will be done, too stressed to collect my thoughts or focus my creativity.
So as part of my tiny contribution to all this, my attempt to improve my mental state in the name of public health, I'm going to try to list a few things I'm grateful for every day. I've never ever stuck to a daily-journaling prompt, but I'm really going to try with this one, because I think I need it. And maybe if you're reading it, you need it too.
So, gratitude for the ides of March...
1) I went sledding with some friends today. It felt wonderful to be outside in the fresh air, shrieking and laughing as we whizzed down the hills and then clawed our agonizing, labored way back up. (I had seen them prior to my isolation period; if we were contaminated, it had already happened, I promise.)
2) ABBA music, and singing and dancing along with abandon
3) Good friends, online and in-person, who help make things more bearable.
