roselightfairy (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
roselightfairy) wrote2021-02-06 10:05 am
roselightfairy) wrote2021-02-06 10:05 am
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I’m rewatching Buffy s5 and having a lot of thoughts about Buffy, Riley, the Scoobies, and emotional support - as they are in the show and as they are viewed in fandom - and I’ve never been good at putting together meta in a structured, thought-out way but I’m going to blather them all at you here anyway.
What’s striking me so much about season 5 is how Riley is actually a very good boyfriend, practically speaking. In these early episodes, when Buffy is dealing with figuring out these things about Dawn, trying to be a better Slayer, and most importantly and especially her mom being sick, he is constantly showing up for her in practical ways: taking care of Dawn, holding her close, being a significant rock for her in ways she really needs it. But he’s meanwhile starting to spiral out because he wants to be more of a rock to her than he is, or wants her to be more vulnerable around him than she is, and doesn’t understand the ways he’s already doing #1 and the ways she honestly can’t allow herself to do #2. And because of this, he starts being less good at #1.
But I found myself surprisingly comparing him to the Scoobies in episode 8 (the one with the giant snake). In this episode, Buffy goes after Glory alone and Riley comes into the Magic Shop - after having dome something very helpful and practical, looking after Dawn, which Buffy desperately needed from him - wanting to follow her. And Xander calls him out - hard and very rightfully - for not really knowing what he’s looking for, even. Transcript from here:
XANDER: Yeah. Crazy. Going off alone, half-cocked, instead of waiting for much-needed backup ... charging in with a big old hand grenade ... oh, wait.
Riley looks a little guilty. RILEY: This is different.
XANDER: Yeah, it is. Buffy needs something she can fight, something she can solve. I don't know what kind of action you're looking for ... (looks closer at Riley) Do you?
This scene hit me hard because I realized - the Scoobies aren’t out there providing backup for Buffy. They’re in the Magic Shop, researching, because that’s the practical help she needs. They’re her backup and they’ve accepted it, because they know what she needs and what she needs is to fight alone. And I realized they take the same role with Joyce. They don’t try to talk to her, they don’t try to solve her emotional problems - they run backup, they look after Dawn, they bring silly presents to the hospital. They try to take care of things when she can’t. But none of them is her shoulder to cry on, because she won’t allow herself to break down in front of any of them. We see Riley being upset later on that she won’t break down in front of him, because he wants to be that shoulder for her - but it feels like the Scoobies have accepted that this is something she doesn’t want.
This also made me realize it’s been awhile since the Scoobies confided in one another, really. There was a definite decrease in s4, but I almost wonder if part of it started in s3, too, when there were the broken trust issues with Angel coming back. Buffy was seeing him in secret, not processing with them, because she knew they wouldn’t understand - and then when they find out, they all feel very betrayed because she didn’t tell them. Neither Xander nor Willow confesses to Buffy what they’ve been up to during the (cringe) cheating arc in s3. And while they are all talking about everything again by the end of the season, I wonder if some rifts started there that only continued into s4, when part of the arc of the season is the Scoobies all growing up and growing apart, learning to stand on their own and have pockets of their own lives that they don’t share with the others. They’re still a team, but there’s something in that emotional connection that has faded. And by this point in s5, they’ve all accepted it, but Riley hasn’t.
This meta actually isn’t about Riley. It’s about this aspect of Riley and what it reveals about the Scoobies - and why I think some fandom portrayals of the Scoobies in later seasons are a bit unfair. We see Buffy go through incredible trauma throughout the entire show - I mean, it gets dark really fast, and never lets up to the full extent we’d like for any kind of healing. Buffy is put through the fires again and again, and emerges sharper and harder each time. And the Scoobies - they’re all living their own lives, walking through their own fires, and they show up for her again and again but they can never fully understand, never fully be part of hers. And she doesn’t want them to. I think that’s what gets kind of overlooked sometimes - I understand the ways in which the Scoobies let Buffy down in later seasons, and that’s an attitude I see in fandom spaces sometimes. But I think what’s overlooked is that there’s a lot Buffy doesn’t tell them, a lot that she doesn’t want to let them in on. It might be a combination of protecting herself and protecting them, but it makes it harder and harder to break in. In s6, when everyone is in the pits of their personal struggles, it’s all they can do to keep their heads above water - and yet they’re still trying to offer practical assistance where they can, take care of Dawn (though often not well), research to fight the bad guys. In s7, they’re still not truly confiding in each other and yet they’re giving up everything to come help Buffy organize, to fix her house, to figure out what’s going on, to become full-time Slayer-sitters. (Potential-sitters just doesn’t have the same ring to it, okay?) And while I’m certainly not saying they’re perfect, I guess I’m just-- having feelings about the notion that they’re letting her down, because this pattern starts very early on, long before we are maybe ready to realize it.
I don’t know what this whole post was, or who it was defending, or what the point of it was at all, so I can’t make a TL;DR. But here are my thoughts; I hope you enjoyed them at least a little.
What’s striking me so much about season 5 is how Riley is actually a very good boyfriend, practically speaking. In these early episodes, when Buffy is dealing with figuring out these things about Dawn, trying to be a better Slayer, and most importantly and especially her mom being sick, he is constantly showing up for her in practical ways: taking care of Dawn, holding her close, being a significant rock for her in ways she really needs it. But he’s meanwhile starting to spiral out because he wants to be more of a rock to her than he is, or wants her to be more vulnerable around him than she is, and doesn’t understand the ways he’s already doing #1 and the ways she honestly can’t allow herself to do #2. And because of this, he starts being less good at #1.
But I found myself surprisingly comparing him to the Scoobies in episode 8 (the one with the giant snake). In this episode, Buffy goes after Glory alone and Riley comes into the Magic Shop - after having dome something very helpful and practical, looking after Dawn, which Buffy desperately needed from him - wanting to follow her. And Xander calls him out - hard and very rightfully - for not really knowing what he’s looking for, even. Transcript from here:
XANDER: Yeah. Crazy. Going off alone, half-cocked, instead of waiting for much-needed backup ... charging in with a big old hand grenade ... oh, wait.
Riley looks a little guilty. RILEY: This is different.
XANDER: Yeah, it is. Buffy needs something she can fight, something she can solve. I don't know what kind of action you're looking for ... (looks closer at Riley) Do you?
This scene hit me hard because I realized - the Scoobies aren’t out there providing backup for Buffy. They’re in the Magic Shop, researching, because that’s the practical help she needs. They’re her backup and they’ve accepted it, because they know what she needs and what she needs is to fight alone. And I realized they take the same role with Joyce. They don’t try to talk to her, they don’t try to solve her emotional problems - they run backup, they look after Dawn, they bring silly presents to the hospital. They try to take care of things when she can’t. But none of them is her shoulder to cry on, because she won’t allow herself to break down in front of any of them. We see Riley being upset later on that she won’t break down in front of him, because he wants to be that shoulder for her - but it feels like the Scoobies have accepted that this is something she doesn’t want.
This also made me realize it’s been awhile since the Scoobies confided in one another, really. There was a definite decrease in s4, but I almost wonder if part of it started in s3, too, when there were the broken trust issues with Angel coming back. Buffy was seeing him in secret, not processing with them, because she knew they wouldn’t understand - and then when they find out, they all feel very betrayed because she didn’t tell them. Neither Xander nor Willow confesses to Buffy what they’ve been up to during the (cringe) cheating arc in s3. And while they are all talking about everything again by the end of the season, I wonder if some rifts started there that only continued into s4, when part of the arc of the season is the Scoobies all growing up and growing apart, learning to stand on their own and have pockets of their own lives that they don’t share with the others. They’re still a team, but there’s something in that emotional connection that has faded. And by this point in s5, they’ve all accepted it, but Riley hasn’t.
This meta actually isn’t about Riley. It’s about this aspect of Riley and what it reveals about the Scoobies - and why I think some fandom portrayals of the Scoobies in later seasons are a bit unfair. We see Buffy go through incredible trauma throughout the entire show - I mean, it gets dark really fast, and never lets up to the full extent we’d like for any kind of healing. Buffy is put through the fires again and again, and emerges sharper and harder each time. And the Scoobies - they’re all living their own lives, walking through their own fires, and they show up for her again and again but they can never fully understand, never fully be part of hers. And she doesn’t want them to. I think that’s what gets kind of overlooked sometimes - I understand the ways in which the Scoobies let Buffy down in later seasons, and that’s an attitude I see in fandom spaces sometimes. But I think what’s overlooked is that there’s a lot Buffy doesn’t tell them, a lot that she doesn’t want to let them in on. It might be a combination of protecting herself and protecting them, but it makes it harder and harder to break in. In s6, when everyone is in the pits of their personal struggles, it’s all they can do to keep their heads above water - and yet they’re still trying to offer practical assistance where they can, take care of Dawn (though often not well), research to fight the bad guys. In s7, they’re still not truly confiding in each other and yet they’re giving up everything to come help Buffy organize, to fix her house, to figure out what’s going on, to become full-time Slayer-sitters. (Potential-sitters just doesn’t have the same ring to it, okay?) And while I’m certainly not saying they’re perfect, I guess I’m just-- having feelings about the notion that they’re letting her down, because this pattern starts very early on, long before we are maybe ready to realize it.
I don’t know what this whole post was, or who it was defending, or what the point of it was at all, so I can’t make a TL;DR. But here are my thoughts; I hope you enjoyed them at least a little.